Online on Messenger when I'm not. Solved

Question

Hello,

I have a big problem that's bothering me!

Let me explain: I don’t have a personal Facebook (I use my friend’s on the web and on Android), my fiancé has one (also web and Android) (but he doesn’t know that I occasionally use my friend’s).

Tonight around 9 PM my fiancé tells me he is going to bed because he is sick/tired/or something.... I believe him, but here I am, if I log in via the web, he appears to be online (there's no green dot, but just the elapsed time since his last connection). It never lasts long, just 1 to 2 minutes but it’s regular (like every few minutes I see the elapsed time changing).
The same happens if I check via Android on Messenger.... active for 1 to 2 minutes, and this every few minutes!

Just now on the web I see he logged in 1 minute ago (even though it's 2:51 in the morning!)

I started to note some times late tonight ...
active from 1:52 to 1:54
active at 2:00
active at 2:02, at 2:11, 2:13, 2:20, 2:22, 2:30, 2:40 ......

I have already asked him about it since this is not the first time it happens, he told me he was not logged in and that it must be a Facebook bug ...... and/or his phone (take your pick)

So my question is:
Do you think it’s possible that his mobile phone connects to Facebook or Messenger automatically without him manipulating it? (that’s what he’s trying to make me believe)

Or has this happened to you before? Is it materially possible? Technically?

I need to know, we’re supposed to live together soon and I have doubts :(

Thank you! I've gone through quite a few help forums and even Facebook; I haven't found any answers.

Freefoon · Accepted Answer

I know this kind of relationship well, you can be sure that if the phones connect by themselves, it’s not because he's talking to someone.
Plus, why would he do that when he knows very well that you can see when he’s online? If he had something to hide, he wouldn’t do it this way for sure.
It is technically and physically possible for the phone to connect by itself.
Especially on a cell phone with the irregularities of networks, you shouldn’t be surprised that it sometimes connects by itself because the connection often drops on mobile networks.
Personally, sometimes I have friends on Facebook who you think are online but they're actually not at all, just because their phone connects by itself.
Believe me, it’s a super common problem. I have at least 15 contacts who are in the same situation as your boyfriend. But they don’t see it, and it is true that it's annoying when you click on that friend and at the moment of clicking they disconnect just after they just came online!!!
I sincerely hope to have reassured you, and you know your jealousy is the most beautiful proof of love you can show him.
It shouldn’t ruin your life to be jealous; on the contrary, enjoy it, it’s the most effective way to feel his presence deep inside you, even during his absence. You are lucky to have that boy! :)

Freefoon · Answer

Hello!

I assure you, this problem is often recurring on Android phones, even on tablets.

It has happened to me plenty of times, so I can confirm it! Don’t ruin your love life over a doubt about his phone!

Not long ago, my neighbor dumped her boyfriend because he received a dirty ad
) due to a program she installed herself which was a virus lol, I tried to reason with her but to no avail!

So don’t be so fearful, if anything, know that Facebook and all that Messenger crap are easily hackable, so stop blaming your guy!

:p

cocotte2011 · Answer

Thank you Freefoon for your reassuring response..

I’m trying to come to terms with it. I want to believe it, but I wish I could be 200% sure. :(

So you’re saying it’s materially and technically impossible?

He has no activity on FB (no likes or comments...) just those damn connections that make me think he must just be using the messaging to chat.... but with whom and especially at those hours... :(

400km separates us, it's even harder to trust. :(

I just want to be sure, I love him but it’s ruining my life.

rct--Toulon--macouille · Answer

I'm sorry, but I'm going to disappoint more than one person. The problem with Facebook and Messenger is that it's hard to make people believe that we are offline. Let me explain...
When you open a Facebook session on a PC and you are offline, no last connection time appears except perhaps in minutes. However, once you install Facebook and Messenger on your mobile, the last connection times appear in the last conversation tab, for example. And there lies the problem because even while connected offline, it will always show "was online 1 minute ago" or two. I personally experienced this issue with my partner who asked me who I was chatting with in the middle of the night when I was just having insomnia and browsing pages and other groups. Anyway, in the future, if you want to avoid this, you need to delete Facebook and Messenger from your phone and only log in on PC. Once offline, no last connection time will appear and that's it. By the same process, you can log into your Facebook through the Chrome browser on your phone and it will be the same, no connection time will be present. There you go.
You can check online for yourself; several forums discuss this.
Have a nice day anyway.

jujjjjuu · Answer

Hello,

I know this topic is old, but I wanted to add some information.

When you're logged into Facebook on your computer and don't stay on the Facebook tab (you use another tab, do something else on the computer, etc.), after a few minutes the status "active X minutes ago" appears, as if FB goes to sleep.
When the app is active on the phone (in my case, it's an iPhone) and you leave it displayed on the screen without the phone going to sleep, after a while the status "active 1 minute ago" appears, and this status will remain unchanged until you take the app back in hand.

I admit it's really annoying because I know my friend also tells me he’s swamped at work, and when he doesn't reply to my messages while I see him online, it drives me crazy!

These connections only happen when he isn't with me; for example, on the weekend, there are no "interfering" connections, only connections when he checks his FB, so "active X" counts in hours or even days. It raises doubts because trust in him was broken a little one day, and I would like to regain that but I can’t because of Facebook ruining couples...

In any case, it seems that for the connection to happen and for the status "active X" to display, the person has to reactivate Facebook (on the computer or on the phone). Bugs are also possible, but for now, I haven't encountered any; I've only been able to make observations. And I thought that by leaving the app running in the background while doing another task on the phone (no idea which...) it could force a Facebook connection... The worst part is that this information is nowhere to be found.

Ariciaaa · Answer

Hello. Yes, it's disturbing. I'm experiencing the same thing; my darling tells me he isn't connecting either. I often see that his account is active and stays that way for several minutes, sometimes even an hour, with that green dot next to his name. It seems to me that if you're not chatting, the account goes inactive after a minute. So I think he's lying to me.
Do you have an answer for me?
I asked him the question, and he denies chatting on FB or Messenger.
Thank you :)

Marie · Answer

Hello, my friend who is quite jealous told me he saw me regularly throughout an active day on Messenger, while I absolutely did not open either Facebook or Messenger all day.

I wanted to clarify this and understand, so I ran some tests. I discovered the following important things: I have an iPhone, and I receive Messenger notifications on my mobile home screen.

During the day in question, I deleted the Messenger notifications without opening them.

And every time I did that, it triggered the presence indicator on Messenger, so the green dot remained active for 10 minutes.

However, I neither read nor opened any Messenger or Facebook notifications. I just deleted them from my home screen.

So if you don’t want the presence indicator on Messenger to activate, you need to delete the Messenger notifications on your mobile.

What I just said, I tested multiple times with two different phones and two different Messenger accounts, and this is indeed the reality: the simple deletion of a Messenger notification on my home screen generates 10 minutes of presence as if I were on Messenger.

The presence duration that triggers is indeed 10 minutes each time, and when the green dot disappears after 10 minutes, it mentions a last seen time of five minutes ago and not 10 minutes.

So the system really works very poorly and is misleading.

Caro · Answer

I don't know about Messenger, but it's possible on Instagram. My partner was driving and I was sitting next to him on my phone. It showed every now and then that he was online on Instagram. I think that when his watch receives an Instagram notification, it marks him as online even though he just turns his wrist to look at it, without tapping on the watch. I haven't noticed the same thing on Messenger, but whatever.

Yasmin · Answer

So especially for some time now, the same thing has been happening to me and to be sure I checked using my mother's phone and yes I am online every time without even touching my phone, it's really annoying, I don't know if it's a matter of an update or what! ????????

Online on Messenger when I'm not.

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