Cover letter for BTS SIO
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picsou93
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Hello, I need to write a motivation letter to apply for a BTS and I would like to get your feedback on what I've done (spelling, too long...) I'm waiting for your critiques, whether positive or negative.
Thank you in advance for your help
Subject: Application for admission to BTS IT Services for Organizations
Dear Sir or Madam,
Having discontinued my studies after my scientific Baccalaureate with a specialization in engineering sciences in 2013 due to a lack of motivation and a desire to discover active life. I wish to resume my studies in the upcoming BTS SIO class at your institution to work with a mindset that is more appropriate and relevant than before.
Indeed, I have always been drawn to the world of new technologies, and I had the opportunity to confirm this attraction and technological curiosity when I took C programming courses on the website "OpenClassrooms." Today, my professional project is to become an application developer. The BTS IT Services for Organizations training is therefore perfectly aligned with my ambition.
I have long been lax with myself, unaware of the chance I had to benefit from quality instruction and support every day. That is why I did not obtain my Baccalaureate at the end of my first year of high school. However, during my second year of high school, after a serious comeback, my efforts were rewarded for the first time at the PPE Olympics in engineering sciences when, thanks to the project that my group and I created, we won 1st place at the regional level and 14th place at the national level. Then my efforts were rewarded again with my Baccalaureate.
Having entered the workforce 8 months ago as a temporary worker, I realized how difficult it is to find stable employment with only a high school diploma. I believe I have become a more thoughtful and mature person, and it is after a sincere and necessary introspection for my future that I wish to join your institution in order to fully benefit from the instruction offered. You understand therefore the reality of my motivations and the importance of your decision.
Thank you in advance for the attention you will give to my application and for the favorable response you will consider.
Sincerely yours, Madam, Sir, my distinguished considerations.
Thank you in advance for your help
Subject: Application for admission to BTS IT Services for Organizations
Dear Sir or Madam,
Having discontinued my studies after my scientific Baccalaureate with a specialization in engineering sciences in 2013 due to a lack of motivation and a desire to discover active life. I wish to resume my studies in the upcoming BTS SIO class at your institution to work with a mindset that is more appropriate and relevant than before.
Indeed, I have always been drawn to the world of new technologies, and I had the opportunity to confirm this attraction and technological curiosity when I took C programming courses on the website "OpenClassrooms." Today, my professional project is to become an application developer. The BTS IT Services for Organizations training is therefore perfectly aligned with my ambition.
I have long been lax with myself, unaware of the chance I had to benefit from quality instruction and support every day. That is why I did not obtain my Baccalaureate at the end of my first year of high school. However, during my second year of high school, after a serious comeback, my efforts were rewarded for the first time at the PPE Olympics in engineering sciences when, thanks to the project that my group and I created, we won 1st place at the regional level and 14th place at the national level. Then my efforts were rewarded again with my Baccalaureate.
Having entered the workforce 8 months ago as a temporary worker, I realized how difficult it is to find stable employment with only a high school diploma. I believe I have become a more thoughtful and mature person, and it is after a sincere and necessary introspection for my future that I wish to join your institution in order to fully benefit from the instruction offered. You understand therefore the reality of my motivations and the importance of your decision.
Thank you in advance for the attention you will give to my application and for the favorable response you will consider.
Sincerely yours, Madam, Sir, my distinguished considerations.
3 réponses
Hello,
Having discontinued my education after my scientific BAC with a focus on engineering sciences in 2013 due to lack of motivation and the desire to experience active life.
No, don’t specify that kind of thing or they might think it will happen again. They have quotas to meet, show them that you won't give up.
Today, my professional project is to become application developer. The BTS in IT services for organizations training is therefore perfectly aligned with my ambition.
Uh...
This diploma trains technicians capable of managing a computer network or administering a network in SMEs. Their mission is to automate and streamline the administrative activities of the company.
https://www.onisep.fr/Ressources/Univers-Formation/Formations/Post-bac/bts-services-informatiques-aux-organisations-option-a-solutions-d-infrastructure-systemes-et-reseaux
This diploma does not align with what you want to do...
I have often been lax with myself, unaware of the chance I had to benefit from quality instruction and support every day.
Same as the first point. Don’t put that in writing. If you are asked about it in a possible interview, you can, at a stretch, say it verbally but don’t write it down.
my efforts were rewarded for the first time at the engineering sciences PPE olympiads
That’s perfect! That’s the kind of thing to say.
I realized that it was difficult to find stable employment with only a high school diploma.
I don’t like the phrasing. I would rather say: “I realized that it was difficult to find stable employment being able to present only a high school diploma.”
I therefore believe I have become a more thoughtful person
thoughtfulER
in order to fully benefit from the offered education
offeredED
On the other hand, the major weak point is stating that you want to become a developer when this BTS does not have that vocation.
The jobs it prepares for are:
- network administrator
- microcomputer manager
- IT maintenance technician
- salesperson in microcomputing and multimedia
- webmaster
Far from being a developer...
Having discontinued my education after my scientific BAC with a focus on engineering sciences in 2013 due to lack of motivation and the desire to experience active life.
No, don’t specify that kind of thing or they might think it will happen again. They have quotas to meet, show them that you won't give up.
Today, my professional project is to become application developer. The BTS in IT services for organizations training is therefore perfectly aligned with my ambition.
Uh...
This diploma trains technicians capable of managing a computer network or administering a network in SMEs. Their mission is to automate and streamline the administrative activities of the company.
https://www.onisep.fr/Ressources/Univers-Formation/Formations/Post-bac/bts-services-informatiques-aux-organisations-option-a-solutions-d-infrastructure-systemes-et-reseaux
This diploma does not align with what you want to do...
I have often been lax with myself, unaware of the chance I had to benefit from quality instruction and support every day.
Same as the first point. Don’t put that in writing. If you are asked about it in a possible interview, you can, at a stretch, say it verbally but don’t write it down.
my efforts were rewarded for the first time at the engineering sciences PPE olympiads
That’s perfect! That’s the kind of thing to say.
I realized that it was difficult to find stable employment with only a high school diploma.
I don’t like the phrasing. I would rather say: “I realized that it was difficult to find stable employment being able to present only a high school diploma.”
I therefore believe I have become a more thoughtful person
thoughtfulER
in order to fully benefit from the offered education
offeredED
On the other hand, the major weak point is stating that you want to become a developer when this BTS does not have that vocation.
The jobs it prepares for are:
- network administrator
- microcomputer manager
- IT maintenance technician
- salesperson in microcomputing and multimedia
- webmaster
Far from being a developer...