Apple motivation letter review
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tonyjaa313
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zllzn Posted messages 21 Status Member -
zllzn Posted messages 21 Status Member -
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your company, renowned worldwide for the intrinsic quality of your revolutionary electronic and computer products, requires numerous skills and unwavering availability from its collaborators. Your field increasingly demands perfectionism, responsiveness, and great motivation. Consequently, your technicians bear significant responsibility for the quality of service that represents your company's image.
I have undertaken various training programs in companies specialized in the fields of computing and electronics, during which I have refined my knowledge. My many professional experiences have allowed me to acquire great technical skills, listening abilities, and availability. My attached Curriculum Vitae will precisely describe my background.
After thoroughly studying the diversity of your job offers on your website, particularly the Genius position, I would like to share my experiences, determination, seriousness, and motivation to join your team. Computing is a true passion for me, and being very interested in new technologies, the decision to make this my profession within your company seems like an obvious choice. I have also had the chance to meet a reseller working for your company, from whom I took the opportunity to inquire about the characteristics and working methods of employees, which I also studied online.
I believe that my qualities could be allies for your success, and I would like to propose a meeting with you very soon.
In anticipation of a collaboration, please accept, Sir or Madam, the expression of my highest regards.
##### Tony
Enclosure: Curriculum Vitae
Your company, renowned worldwide for the intrinsic quality of your revolutionary electronic and computer products, requires numerous skills and unwavering availability from its collaborators. Your field increasingly demands perfectionism, responsiveness, and great motivation. Consequently, your technicians bear significant responsibility for the quality of service that represents your company's image.
I have undertaken various training programs in companies specialized in the fields of computing and electronics, during which I have refined my knowledge. My many professional experiences have allowed me to acquire great technical skills, listening abilities, and availability. My attached Curriculum Vitae will precisely describe my background.
After thoroughly studying the diversity of your job offers on your website, particularly the Genius position, I would like to share my experiences, determination, seriousness, and motivation to join your team. Computing is a true passion for me, and being very interested in new technologies, the decision to make this my profession within your company seems like an obvious choice. I have also had the chance to meet a reseller working for your company, from whom I took the opportunity to inquire about the characteristics and working methods of employees, which I also studied online.
I believe that my qualities could be allies for your success, and I would like to propose a meeting with you very soon.
In anticipation of a collaboration, please accept, Sir or Madam, the expression of my highest regards.
##### Tony
Enclosure: Curriculum Vitae
1 answer
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"qualité" -> "qualité"
pas de virgule après "collaborateurs"
"une grande motivation" -> "une grande motivation"
Majuscule au début du 2ème §
"sociétés" -> "sociétés"
"desquelles" -> "desquelles"
"permise(s)" (je suis pas sûr)
"Après" avec un accent
"diversité" -> "diversité"
"offres d'emploi" -> "offres d'emploi" ?
" , notamment" -> " , notamment"
"détermination" -> "détermination"
"sérieux" -> "sérieux"
"auquel j'en ai profité" ça me gène un peu la tournure de phrase
"ce que j'ai également étudié sur internet", je l'aurai pas mis, ça casse un peu ton élan d'affiche de motivation, je trouve (en gros, tu as été sur google).
Voilà, je me permets juste de corriger les erreurs grammaticales et d'orthographe, et préfère laisser quelqu'un de plus expérimenté débattre sur le fond. (d'autant plus que je n'aime pas apple, alors ...)
Cordialement
Zllzn